Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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