He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
