she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Randomize
