DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
