pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i drank out of a bidet.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
