im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just high enough for therapy.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
