your parents love me but you hate me
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I need moral support for this bender
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Randomize
