p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
