dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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