I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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