we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
