Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
