the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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