Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
This is the high leading the old right now
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
