you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
