everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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