Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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