So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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