I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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