I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
