Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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