we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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