Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
it hurts more in the daytime
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
