JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
