guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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