he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
