Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
