and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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