That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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