Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
