I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
