chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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