I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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