You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
