I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
