real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
