all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
