Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
