Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
