my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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