dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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