I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
