I met the friendliest cop last night
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
