weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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