ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
