I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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