I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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