I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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