is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
