I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
