I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Randomize
