Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
